Daddy Daughter Time.

I'm 29 weeks pregnant now!  Rocking my compression socks, oh yeah!

Once a week my dad and I spend time together.  When the weather was nice and earlier in my pregnancy, we went for runs down in fish creek together.  I'm done with running as of a couple weeks ago (hurt my foot and concerned about the impact on my veins), so we meet at the gym to spin together.

Today was fun.  Something you should know about my dad is that he doesn't like to interrupt his workouts for anything, yep he's kind of intense like that (you wonder where I get it from right?!?).  It's more of a comical intensity though because for my dad most things have a comical aspect.  So today he was wearing two pairs of shorts and he started getting warm, so he asked, "do you think I can take off my outer pair of shorts while spinning?"  It was said with a sly grin, as if asking me to dare him to it.  Of course I obliged and then laughed my head off as he kept choppily spinning, while the first leg awkwardly came out, followed by the next.  You see the guy in the picture next to my dad?  Yeah, he had that face during the shorts removal too.

Last week was even more fun.  We were on the upright bikes, rather than the granny recumbent bikes pictured above.  We were on a random interval setting.  It was intense and I got right to it, whereas my dad likes to take his time warming up.  About 5 min into the workout, he noticed that I had burned a lot more calories and gone "further" than him.  So he told me that he was going to catch me.  Well, I couldn't resist the lure of competition so I sped up as well and raised my gears with his.

We were both sweating like crazy and unfortunately for my dad, he had forgotten his sweat towel.  Having minimal bodily function phobias, he asked if he could share my sweat towel.  "No way" I responded.  "That would be like sharing your toothbrush or your toilet paper or something.  I just can't handle it.  Sorry."  So his shirt became his sweat towel and as time progressed it became a very soaked shirt.  On the competition went, both of us suffering and egging each other on, in our friendly, fun, loving way.

Then came another setback for my dad.  He needed to blow his nose quite badly.  Tragic.  So I told him it was ok, he could just get off and I would win by forfeit.  He wasn't having any of that so he proceeded to blow his nose IN HIS SHIRT.  Then he looked down and said, "wow, now that's really gross!"  So before I could stop him he took off his shirt and kept biking topless.  I'm guessing back in the 80's it was cool for men to strut around the gym topless.  I commented that I thought he might get a reprimanding, exposing himself like that, and so he put the sweaty, mucousy shirt back on.  Awesome.

We finished the workout and I honestly can't even remember who won the competition.

I love you dad.  I enjoy our workouts together every week.  Thanks for keeping it real.

Pregnancy Tips

I thought I'd share a few pregnancy tips.  Not that I'm some guru or anything but these are just some things I've been thinking about that have been helpful to me and maybe they could be helpful to you.

• Don't compare yourself to other pregnant women.  Be kind to yourself and to others by giving each woman the respect and space to let their body do what it needs to do.

• Build up your storage of vitamins and minerals before you even get pregnant by taking a multi or prenatal vitamin daily.  I had my iron levels tested a couple years ago.  I was low so I took extra supplements for a few months and had it re-tested, to get my levels into a good place.  My iron levels have been awesome this pregnancy and I haven't felt as tired as I did my last two pregnancies.  I think once your levels are low, it's really tough to get them up during pregnancy with that precious little leech in your womb.  

• Along the same lines, I really believe in taking a good quality prenatal vitamin.  It's been proven that different brands of vitamins have much different absorption rates.  My naturopath recommended the Douglas labs "Pure" brand, which are relatively inexpensive.  I also take an extra omega 3 (for baby's brain development), zinc (cure for preventing anal fissures - a whole other story, which I'm happy to share if you're interested) and calcium/magnesium (because then I don't get any leg cramps).

• Sweat pants are your friend but you'll probably feel like a slob if you wear them everyday...I know I did. I felt more attractive when I started mixing in some jeans, makeup and doing my hair, even though sweats still have a dear place in my heart and in my wardrobe...with leggings following as a close second.

• Don't make pregnancy an excuse to eat crap all the time.  I've seen others do this, put on obscene amounts of weight and then they have to work so hard afterwards to get back to feeling good.  I do believe that some bodies will just tend to put on more weight in pregnancy, no matter how you eat (and you shouldn't beat yourself up if that's what your body tends to do because you should trust your body knows what it's doing) but don't make the damage worse by treating pregnancy like a nine month cheat day.  Not only for the weight gain issue but also for your and your baby's health...Nourish Yourself!

• Take time to rest.  Took me awhile to learn this when I was pregnant with Riley because I viewed sloth with the highest disdain and felt guilty if I wasn't productive all...the....time.  But I learned that wasn't serving me well and that, just as a worked muscle needs time to recover and rebuilt stronger, our whole bodies, as well as our minds and emotions need rest, in order to be well and balanced.  I find that I need at least one or two afternoons a week to rest (read, nap, whatever)

Spin Class

Today I did a spin class at the gym with my dad.  He's been coming with me to the gym about once a week to spend time together before baby comes.  It's been fun.

It was a one hour class but for some reason, they've decided to put the clock on the wall right at the front of the room.  That means that I am checking it, oh about every 10 seconds, and the time kind of drags on.

Today I was thinking about how I used to train for hours on end in preparation for Ironman.  How did I survive that, not just physically, but mentally!  An average training week had three spin sessions (along with three swim sessions and three run sessions).  One of the sessions was a long base training session, so I'd often be required to spin for 4-5 hours at a time.  Of course I tried to get outside on my road bike for those sessions but that wasn't always possible due to weather or child care.

So I spent hours upon hours on the corner spin bike.  Spin classes would come and go from the room, my friend Silvana would sometimes come and go but I remained..there...on the bike....in the corner of the room.....for HOURS.  

I'm so proud of that Kimmy who stuck with her goal and even enjoyed it, for the most part.  On a side note, my former self looks so skinny to my pregnant eyes but really everyone looks incredibly skinny to me right now.  It's kind of funny.

I truly am enjoying this stage of my fitness.  It's been nice to take a big step back from the intensity and just exercise for health, not for any goal or race.  I have struggled with what to actually do at the gym these days since I injured my foot a couple weeks ago and I've also been concerned about avoiding unnecessary further damage to my veins.  But there are major benefits: it gives me something to do with my mornings (both my kids are in school and I'm not doing as much personal training these days, so what else am I supposed to do with all this time).  It helps me feel emotionally well.  For example yesterday I had something on my mind bothering me and when I got home from the gym it's like the issue had shrunk in terms of my perception of it's negative impact.  Also I still feel pretty physically fit.  My cardio fitness is still in a pretty good place, as I can easily maintain 1-2 of aerobic fitness.  Also my muscles are still fairly strong.  At my midwife appt she commented, "you have quite the strong abs my dear" and my legs and arms also still have some decent muscle.  Never mind that you can't really see it because there's some extra fat storage but it's nice to know it's there. I did a pump class yesterday and it felt very comfortable.

Countdown is on with just over three months until my due date.

Marks of Motherhood

 I've wondered about the words, 'pregnant glow' lately.  Maybe that glow comes in part from being a little sweaty from having just thrown up your lunch.  Or maybe it's because you're flushed and oxygen deprived from the baby compressing your lungs.  Or maybe it's something more poetic and magical....

Pregnancy and child birth (not to mention raising the actual child) are certainly experiences that change you forever.

I've been thinking about some of these changes lately.
I've heard of so many different symptoms that female friends and family have experienced.  Depression, weight gain, nausea, insomnia, crazy dreams, joint pain, back pain, anxiety, water retention, mood swings, food aversions and migraines to name a few.  My sister's whole body would itch severely during her third trimester.  Pregnancy is so weird.

For my part, I had nausea with all three pregnancies.  I had some insomnia in my last pregnancy but thankfully not this time.  My feet were both a size 8 before I had Riley.  After that first pregnancy, they became a size 8.5  Then, miraculously after Kyla my right foot was a 9 and my left an 8.5.  It remains to be seen where my feet will end up after round three.  I had the strangest symptom after Kyla where the left side of my scalp was constantly greasy.  Didn't matter if I had just showered and blow dried my hair, that side was as greasy as if I hadn't showered in weeks.  Only solution I found was to shampoo with dish soap.  I struggled emotionally in my pregnancy with Kyla and I remember Adam saying, "I miss my Kimmy."  It was said in a sweet, longing way.  Not judgementally.  I missed myself too.

If you've spent much time with me the past month, you've probably heard me lament my most recent change that I'm grappling with: VARICOSE VEINS.  I love my legs.  They're strong, healthy, long and athletic.  I've never been much into flaunting them with high heels but I just privately find joy in them.  It's hard to see something you love become scarred.  I had some veins collapse last time but I hoped that after I had the baby they would heal up.  They didn't.  This time around, more veins have been struggling and bulging and darkening.  Not only that but they throb sometimes too.  One even has a clot in it that I will be getting an ultrasound on shortly.

It's astounding and humbling for me to consider these sacrifices.  I can picture in my mind's eye, many women that I love, offering their bodies as a vessel to bring a child into this world.  It is like they are stepping forward to an altar of sacrifice; silently, willingly, laying their offering there.  It is a deeply personal, divine experience.  It is an incredible sacrifice.  Hard, at times.  One that changes you, both inside and out, forever.

After having Kyla, my tummy carried some extra bulge.  I lamented this and obsessed over it a bit.  Then I started to learn something.  This was a mark of motherhood.  A mark on my body that I carried with me,  a sign of the sacrifice I had given.  To God this mark was beautiful.  I had a hope planted in my heart that perhaps with some time and perspective it would be beautiful to me too.  Perhaps all the marks I bear, both emotional and physical, will become incredibly beautiful to me.  They are symbols of my sacrifice.  Symbols of what I have offered.  Symbols that I am a mother.  

Six year old maternity clothes should be burned.

Ok so I'm 22 weeks pregnant now and I FINALLY decided to go through my old maternity clothes.  I've had these boxes stowed away in a closet for a long time.  Over six years to be exact.

You may wonder, what have I been wearing all this time? 

Well, I have bought some new clothes, specifically skirts and dresses but I haven't bought any shirts or pants yet.  I have a lot of long shirts, so I've just been stretching those out.  I'm totally fine with letting them get stretched out and "wrecked" because then I can throw them away after and buy new clothes.  In terms of pants, I'm down now to black sweat pants and black leggings.  I tried on all my pairs of jeans one morning last week before I went out to volunteer in my daughter's class and not a single pair fit.  No, it wasn't fun trying them all on, in case you were wondering.  

So last night I finally bit the bullet and pulled out those boxes.  It was worse than I expected....much, much worse.  Keep in mind that I was a poor student back in my previous pregnancies and I think some of the clothes I wore had even been handed down to me when I was pregnant with Riley, making them like 10 years old.  It felt like such a time warp.  A tragic time warp into maternity nightmares.  Adam laid on our bed reading a book while I groaned, moaned and sometimes laughed as I sorted through the clothing.  At the end of the experience, I laid down feeling tired and annoyed with my lack of clothing options for the next 4 months.  It's just so hard to spend money on clothes I'm only going to wear for such a short period of time.  He said something like, "Kim, pregnancy is hard enough with the changes to your body,  Don't make it harder on yourself by wearing clothes that you feel ugly in.  Spend some money and buy yourself some clothes you like.  Just donate the rest."  

Ok so before I donate these beauties, I thought I would share a few of them for your enjoyment.
I tried to really show off the two-toned tummy pouch and I think you'll also appreciate my modeling skills.

I'm still running...

Last Friday I tried to run but it just didn't feel quite right.  I felt a bit of pinching and pain in my right upper glute area.  So I did a few walk/run intervals and then spent the rest of my time on the elliptical.  

At over 21 weeks pregnant, I suppose it's bound to happen.  Days where I need to adjust my plan, pull back and take it easier.  

You might think that since I can be kind of hard core about exercise, that this would be hard for me.  But it's really not.  I'm thoroughly enjoying this stage of exercise.  My priority is this beautiful little miracle growing inside me.  It's a relief and a privilege for me to exercise without added pressures of a race or a fitness goal. I actually feel like for me, pregnancy is a time to build up reserves of fitness intensity, so that when the time is right, I'll have these reserves to call upon.   

After seeing my chiropractor and massage therapist I felt a lot better on the treadmill today and ran for 30 minutes.  Then I did 20 minutes elliptical and some upper body strength training.  One thing I have lots of these days is TIME, with both my kids in school all day.  I usually spend my mornings at the gym, taking my time doing cardio, strength training, spin class, yoga or whatever else I feel like that day.  It's as much a social and emotional need that is filled, as it is a physical.  The gym has become my place to visit with other women and be around people.  It's a fun environment for me to spend some of that time.

I'm also still teaching boot camps and doing some personal training.  I love my boot camp girls (yep, that's you if you're reading this) and I enjoy sharing some of my love of fitness.  I know lots of people exercise because they feel like they should or because they want to lose weight but I love seeing a shift in people where they also exercise because they start to LOVE IT.  Not just as a chore but as something they might even call FUN.  I feel like the same shift can happen with eating.  Where you start to eat healthy because you love how that food tastes and you love nourishing your body.  When these shifts happen, healthy living is no longer a burden but a joy and a privilege.  Truly, these bodies of ours are amazing miracles and caring for them is one of the greatest challenges but also the greatest opportunities of LIFE.

I Choose To Be A Mother.

Two years ago I was training for Ironman Cozumel with Adam.  We spent an of average of about 15 hours/week training.  In crash weeks we were training upwards of 26 hours/week.  It was very demanding and fulfilling at the same time and required a lot of planning and teamwork for me and Adam.  After the race, we were both on this athletic high.  The experience had been beyond incredible. We were so eager to keep the dream alive so to speak and signed up for two half ironmans, one in Hawaii and one in Miami.  We ended up making the heart wrenching decision to forfeit our Miami registration because the race fell on a Sunday, which is a sacred day of rest in our religion.  We did race in Hawaii and had an incredible experience.

On the one hand, it seemed that we had come upon an incredible lifestyle.  Training, travelling and racing held such appeal.  We were both getting faster and faster.  Adam often mentioned how great it would be to get our pro card.  We were at a bit of a cross roads.  I felt like I had been a good mom through all this training and racing.  I mean, how does anyone really define what a "good mom" is.  It's so subjective but I felt in my heart that I had been giving my mothering enough time and attention for my kids to thrive....I just wasn't sure I could keep doing that going forward, if I pursued triathlon even more.  At this new stage, I wondered if a shift was required for our family.

Please keep in mind as you read this, that these are my own personal musings and in no way reflect what is right and good for each and every family.  We are all so different and we all have our own choices to make and our own roads to travel.

Two roads seemed to stretch out in front of me.  Both held their own unique appeal.  On the one road, I could continue to pursue triathlon to see how far I could take it.  With my kids growing older and in school full time, I would have plenty of time for training.  I foresaw on this road a lean body, amazing experiences travelling and competing with Adam, medals, building of character through training and competition.  But I also saw myself feeling a strain and pull on my energy and focus between mothering and triathlon.  Even if I got my training in while my kids were in school, I knew that the emotional and physical demands of the training would effect my mothering.  I know that some women pull off being a mother and an elite athlete but I know my limits and I know for myself that although excelling in sport would provide some inspiration to my children, it would also have a cost.

On the other road, I saw us continuing to try for a third baby.  Whether or not I actually got pregnant, I saw myself being devoted even more fully to being a mother.  Not just making it something I did out of duty but something I gave more of myself to.  Not a side job but my main job and focus in life.  When I looked down this road, I looked further into the future.  I saw myself when I was eighty years old.  Sitting in a chair with my husband next to me, talking about our lives....reminiscing.  I imagined us talking about our children.  Discussing the ups and downs, the funny moments, the sacrifices and most of all, the people they had become.  I felt a taste of that joy.  The joy of raising a child into an adult.  Of giving them such a huge piece of myself through time and sacrifice and seeing those things blossom.

I wanted that more than I wanted the medals.

I still do.

So, I chose anew to be a mother.  I had made this choice before and I imagine I'll make it again.

I love my kids, I always have.  Triathlon, sport and fitness have been a part of my life for many years and I hope they will continue to be for many more years.  I have no regrets with the races that Adam and I have been able to participate in.  I treasure those experiences deeply.  They are a part of who I am now.  I hope that the character development from Ironman will help me to be an even better person and to have a greater influence on the people in my life, including my children.

I plan to earn more medals to hang on my wall in the future and hope that I can strike that delicate balance between being the mother I want to be and pursuing those things in life that bring me joy and help me to be a better person.  It's not easy but I'm going to try.

Women Who Play

(I'm top row, middle - #4)

(Yes, my bangs were permed.  Awesome)

Growing up I always thought it was the most normal thing in the world to play sports.  Any sports.  Not just figure skating and swimming but all kinds of team sports, even the ones requiring some aggression.  I never once thought of 'boxing out for the rebound' as being unladylike in any way.  In boxing out you have to hold your ground in such a confident, assertive way and I think practicing these types of skills has transferred over into my life.

I played basketball from a young age.  I believe I was 6 when I started.  I played in high school with some extremely talented girls and we won cities and 4A provincials every year.  I received a few offers to play post secondary basketball but made a heart wrenching decision not to.  I remember going under the bleachers to cry when I watched the first game at the University of Lethbridge.  I loved basketball so much and up to that point I defined myself largely as an athlete and specifically as a basketball player.  It was good for me to learn to define myself in other ways and I had some great years at the U of L, even without basketball.

But basketball had played a major role in shaping who I was up to that point.

I am so grateful for the lessons I learned through sport and I want the same for my daughter.  I guess I'm partial to basketball but Kyla has enjoyed participating in karate, soccer and dance too, so we'll see which sport interests her the most as she gets older.  One thing is for sure, the girl has intensity...and I LOVE IT!



I've been reading a couple books lately about women in sport and they have really opened up my eyes to how far sport has come for women and how recently things have changed for women in sport.  Did you know that in 1972 TITLE IX was passed in the United States, stating that gov't funded schools and programs could not exclude females.

 One athlete said that shortly following this new legislation, her and her friends would often go buy penny candy and then go to the sandpit (baseball field) to see whose parents (very few at the time) had allowed their daughter to join.  When she wanted to join, her parents questioned her, "What if the ball hits you in the face, or even worse, the pelvis, rendering you infertile?  Who will marry you?"

Truly, sports have come a long way for women.

I hope to raise a strong, confident, healthy girl and my hope is that involving her in sports will help her become all that she can be.