You know how sometimes you learn something, either while sitting in a church class, reading a book or just talking to friends and it's one of those "aha" moments? Where the message reaches down deeper than usually, strikes a chord and opens up your mind and heart to some new truth.
Then there's the harder won lessons, that come from getting your hands dirty...
The lessons that are the results of a life experience. The prize taken from passing through something difficult or new...that takes time to learn. These truths tend to sink a little deeper. They reach deep inside and introduce us to ourselves.
My varicose veins have been a catalyst for one of these introductions.
Now, I know there are many health problems much more ominous and threatening than varicose veins. I also know that if I had something worse, that would become my new lesson and I would care a lot less about these darn veins.
Please don't judge me for how much my veins bother me, I am human and a work in progress after all.
So when I look down at my legs and see this, it's hard for me.
It's hard for me to see my body change, as part of my sacrifice offered in having this child. But I am learning, through time and talking to others, how to put this sacrifice into perspective. I am being introduced anew to a part of myself that values motherhood immensely.
These legs that have swam, biked and ran through miles and miles of terrain are now straining to give life to my little girl. I am grateful for all that my body has done and for what it is doing right now.
I guess the lesson I'm learning is this:
What good is a body if it's only function is to look good? (Well, some would say, that's enough for them.) It's not enough for me. This body I've been given is a tool. A gift. A precious gift from a loving Heavenly Father and I get to choose what I do with it. As I use it to do good, there will be a cost to my body. It's inevitable. I choose to make that trade, even when it's hard. That's the lesson I'm learning and that's the introduction to myself that I'm experiencing.